OneShot: Walking Through Barbed Wire
by Shinohoshi13
Summary: When the person closest to you is sentenced to death, what are you supposed to do? Hiei finds out the hard way when the person he loves the most is going to be killed. Will Hiei join his loved one, or will he continue to live for the sake of the lost?


Yu Yu Hakusho © 2001 Yoshihiro Togashi/Shueisha, Fuji TV, St Pierrot. Licensed by FUNimation® Productions, Ltd. The events portrayed are not necessarily present in the original series of Yu Yu Hakusho.

_Walking Through Barbed Wire_, Lovehatetragedy © 2002 Papa Roach, Dreamworks Records

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**Walking Through Barbed Wire**

You had to leave me, didn't you?

You had to go and get yourself caught.

You thought that you could get away with stealing the most guarded possession of King Enma.

Well, you were wrong, and now you're dead.

_'Wish I could see you for one last time  
Wish I could say goodbye to you  
It's hard to deal with you dying  
It's time to say goodbye to you...'_

You, who were the most known thief in the Makai, had to get yourself caught and executed by the Reikai Tokubetsu Boetai. And Koenma had you on probation. You would have had a clean record had you waited another month. But you didn't. You said you needed that sword, but I knew you didn't need it. You just wanted to steal it.

_'Bloody-faced  
Kissing death  
Walking through barbed wire  
I'll let you go  
Let me go digging through myself...'_

Now that you're gone, I feel empty inside.

Now that you're gone, what's the use of living?

Now that you're gone, what is my life worth now?

Now that you're gone, the others feel sad; they hurt inside, knowing they could've stopped you. Only they didn't and they know that things have changed. Now they pester me, asking me why I didn't talk you out of it. I tell them it wasn't my place to tell you what to do. You were your own free self. I had no claim to tie you down. And everyone knows that kitsunes can't be locked in a cage - they are too wild and free.

_'I would die for you  
I'd walk right through barbed wire...'_

I ask myself every day, _'Why didn't I stop him? Why did he think he could steal that sword? Why?'_

The pain of losing you runs deep in my soul. Thinking back, you were the other half of my soul, the half that kept me sane. Now that you are gone, that sanity is starting to leave me. You were the one to hold back the anger I had inside of me. You taught me how to love, how to laugh, and how to live. You were the light in my life that kept the darkness away from my soul.

_'Good luck in your next life  
Walk as tall as the trees  
Be gentle as spring winds  
And have the warmth of summer sun...'_

I remember that day - the day that you left me.

I remember how bright the sun was.

I remember how the moonlight made your skin glow.

I remember how much I loved you.

Looking back, I realize how much you meant to me. You were the one to make me smile. The one to show me that humanity wasn't scum. The only one to make me feel wanted for the first time in my lonely life. You made me feel whole inside. You were the one to fill up the deep pit of seething anger I held inside of me.

You told me you'd be back in no time. I waited for three days. It was Yusuke who told me that you had been captured. And that oaf came with him to mock me. It was Yusuke that told me you were to be executed. Koenma couldn't show his father that you weren't all that bad. He tried to get his father to rethink the sentence, to lower it to jail time. King Enma refused, saying that you had to be killed.

_'I would die, die for you  
I'd walk right through barbed wire  
I blame myself for your death  
It's tearing me apart...'_

If only I had stopped you. If only I had held you back, saying that you didn't need that sword.

If only... Two little words that I had thought I didn't need to utter.

If only I had said I needed you with me.

If only I had said I wanted you next to me.

If only... Two little words that changed what I thought was a happy time. Two little words that I curse with every breath I take. Now I only wish I could have saved you from dying.

I was told to come to the trial. I came and I watched as you were sentenced to death. I watched as Koenma pleaded with his father for a lighter sentence. I watched as you turned your gaze to me. Watched as I saw the tears build up in your eyes. Watched the others shed tears as you were led away to the execution room.

_'I would die, die for you  
Yes I would  
Let you go  
Let me go digging through myself...'_

I ran then. Ran from the room, ran from the others that were crying, ran far from Reikai. How could I live now that you're gone?

You left me to live in pain and denial.

You left me to live with half a heart.

You left me to live by myself.

You left me to live in solitude and confinement.

_'Bloody-faced  
Kissing death  
Walking through barbed wire...'_

And now I ask myself how I could've loved you more. I ask myself over and over about how you changed me. I wonder now what life would be like if you were still alive. What life would be like if you had only waited that one month before trying to steal that sword.

"Why, Kurama, did you have to leave me?"

"You said you'd stay with me."

And now I say good-bye to the only person to love me.

But there was one sentence you said before you left that I will treasure for the rest of my life...

_"I love you, Hiei..."_

But maybe in the end, I should just kill myself. It would make my life so much easier and I could be with you forever. We could run rampant through the fields that encompass the Lake of Death. We could cheat 'death' time and time again. We could rule it all. Maybe, just maybe, I'll be able to join you, Kurama. Just maybe, when I take my own life, I won't go to Purgatory. Maybe I'll come join you, knowing in the end we will always be together...

"Wait for me, Kurama... I'm coming..."

_'Bloody-faced  
Kissing death  
Walking through barbed wire...'_


End file.
